Snake Disaster: Snake Island Attack (2023)

 Snake Disaster: Snake Island Attack 

Rating: C++

Dir: Jimmy Liu
Star: Wang Yi, Gong Xiaojun, Li Kui, Zhang Xinyuan

When you use the word “snake” in your title, not once but twice, along with the words “disaster” and “attack”, you should understand this creates a certain set of expectations. In particular, for a high volume of reptilian mayhem. I appreciate there is marketing involved, and that a movie titled Snake Inconvenience might not sell as well. But the general lack of disaster here was still disappointing, even if the film had some other qualities, not specifically mentioned in the title. [And we can’t blame translation either, since the Chinese one is rendered by Google Translate into English as “Snake Plague: Fright on Snake Island”. Admittedly slightly more restrained, yet close enough to pass muster]

We are, once again, in the “searching for a lost relative” sub-genre of Chinese Animal Attack movies. In this case, magazine editor Li Tong (Wang) is seeking to find out what happened to her father. He disappeared decades ago during a military expedition to a remote area, after an encounter with a giant snake that eats most of the platoon in a prologue. Along with her publisher, Gu Qiu (Gong), an immensely annoying and whiny videographer, and a small security team, including the charmingly named “Gina the kung-fu girl”, she heads to the area in search of the truth. Perhaps a bigger threat is the unfriendly locals, in particular jungle princess Lan Ran (Zhang), who holds a grudge against the outsiders, blaming them for the murder of her own father.

To be honest, the logic there is lost in translation. Her father was an outsider himself, a herbal medicine dealer who came to Snake Island and was actually killed by the locals. 

So why take it out on an innocent band of visitors? 

I guess Lan Ran is too busy taking dips in jungle pools and doing a remarkable job of remaining impeccably pretty, despite the lack of beauty parlors in the area. 

Anyway, one member of the party is bitten by a snake, having gazed upon Lan Ran during one of her dips. To save him, Tong and the rest of the group must venture into a nearby cave, in search of an antidote. 

whose identity will be absolutely no surprise to the viewer?

They encounter a giant snake, apparently controlled by a mysterious, cloaked figure…